I continue to question my credentials. I worry about being insufficiently, liberal, relativistic, postmodern, cool for social justice. The conversation on hate last weekend disturbed me. I may need to say more on the subject. Again, at least one person will likely imply that my opinion stems from never having experienced ableism, not understanding the severity of discrimination, or not caring. In a paper on why I write other things, thesis ‘SO I CAN COPE!!!,’ I acknowledged that the killings, haunt me. Admitting I will carry the contents of each little article to the grave was embarrassing, maudlin, honest. When someone says otherwise, I want to say snide things I would regret. My better judgement wins. I brood.
Missing Autreat left me feeling out-of-the-loop. I have to make it next year.
I am powerless to evict vicarious drama from my personal life.
I need sleep.