But it sucks and I am not telling it publicly & it involves a murder & it sucks to tell.
But since apparently we have to be niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, I will tell you why I refuse, why I know beyond a shadow of a doubt being nice does not matter once they’ve decided you aren’t a really real…
TW Ableism, Eugenics, Suicide
I would be curious to hear it, though I may not agree with your conclusion. I have also been doing this for some time. I have also eaten with individuals who thought anyone with “a low IQ and other unproductive people” should be “humanely euthanized” involuntarily. I still think being civil, distinct from being uncritical, is usually, though not always, the pragmatic approach. People learn from ‘you are wrong,’ even ‘you are a bigot’ and ‘go away until you have time to Google what you just spouted off on and realize ignorant you are.’ I doubt anyone has learned anything from the ‘FUCK YOU GO KILL YOURSELF ALSKDFJ D’ nonsense that sometimes occurs. There are gray areas between that are appropriate in some situations. Doing this successfully takes nuance, judgement, and consciousness of the presence of observers. The goal is not to be nice to the bigot so much as to come across as to rebut the bigot while looking reasonable to the ignorant, undecided person whose presence is always possible online. I have no hope that the high school classmate I quoted will ever see me as a person. I had hope for others around the table.