i have asperger’s and i get really stuck really easily and it annoys the fuck out of tj. i fucking hate myself. i never shut up and everyone in my town hates me.
i’m commiting tonight. i’ll never bother another soul again.
What you wrote on your blog, the introduction about being present to people, shows you already know the point of life. I have been to that brink any number of times. I have never regretted stepping back. I will not call it a permanent solution to temporary problems. That would be trite. It would belie the genuine concern I feel. It might be inaccurate. For all I know, your problems will only end in death. Choose carefully, though. Many facets of life are awful. The experience is like dancing with a bear, awful yet exhilarating. There are good parts. Weigh them against the bad. Consider the chance of your situation improving. It is only possbile if you live. As hard as it is now, there might be a better town, a kinder friend, relation, or romantic interest than TJ. If you die now, what could transpire before Thanksgiving will never materialize. If any of this gives you pause, please wait. Living is less comitted. You can die next week. The other choice is irreversible. You are a caring person, not nussiance. Someone will appreciate that even if you get stuck. I hope it gets better. I hope you live. Your life has value even if no one around you sees it.